i've hit that moment. that instant where all you want is to just be home with your parents and siblings and just talk to them, just hug them. to be in a controllable environment where i don't have to worry about anything. i can chill, just chill.
when i'm not studying/READING/writing papers...i'm working, and when i'm not working...i'm sleeping, which is only for a good power hour nap. i think this might be the first time i can actually say i'm exhausted. not exhausted from a day of hard work lifting things, or a day of running around doing errands, not even exhaustion from a day. i'm exhausted from the last two weeks.
i feel like i never do anything. recently, multiple people have asked me what i do as a hobby or for leisure. my answer: "oh gosh...i have no idea. i don't really do anything." << this right here, this is lame. i wanna start DOING things! i wanna laugh more. i wanna chill more. i wanna do more.
i really wish i saw more of my friends on campus. it's kind of a rarity. i think most of all i wish they would reach out to me more, but i shouldn't be complaining when i know good and well i need to reach as well. i guess where i'm going with this whole rant is that i'm lacking the feeling of being "wanted" or "needed" right now. hmmm yeah, as dumb as that sounds i can admit it.
when i think of my parents it almost makes me cry right now. for the longest time i thought i was so independent cause i'm 20 and this is how it's supposed to be. but now i think i finally, at least know how, to appreciate the value of my parents and what they mean to me & what they've done for me.
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